This is where I drop my mic and walk away. Virtual schooling truly sucks. A lot. Not only for the kids but for the parents that have to teach the kids.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we have a safe alternative to teaching our child besides sending her to physical kindergarten and “pray for the best” but this still sucks.
I’m not a patient person. Like I’m so impatient when I boil water, I put it on the highest setting and then add a little salt to it cause in my mind it makes it boil faster. So trying to teach my daughter things that I know she knows is very frustrating for her and for me. We both end up in tears cause mommy yells at her and it makes her sad. Then mommy cries cause I yelled at her and it makes mommy sad. I had the worst day ever on Monday and at one point Bexley was crying in her bedroom and I was crying in my bedroom. I ended up going therapy shopping at Best Buy (I should have went to Target) and recorded an IG story before I walked in.
I vented how virtual kindergarten was rough and how I feel like I’m failing my daughter and that she’s going to hate me. I feel like I’m doing a disservice by teaching her because I get so frustrated and she’s going to hold it against me. Once the tears start falling y’all, i can’t stop. This is probably why no one helped me at Best Buy. My eyes were bloodshot red and it looked like I was high. But that’s how I felt at that moment. Like I failed my daughter. I mean, teaching kindergarten can’t be THAT HARD?! And it’s not like I have to teach multiple kids, it’s just one little 5 year old. Oh, and it’s not like I have to work a corporate job while teaching her...my business can wait.
But it still sucks. Whether you are teaching one kid or 5 kids, it sucks. Whether you are working a corporate job or you are your own boss and having to teach in between meetings and social media posts, it sucks. Whether you are having to schedule out your day or just going with the flow, it sucks. All of this sucks, A LOT. But one thing we have to remember is that we’re not alone. We survived Spring/Summertime, right...we had to adjust our schedules to accommodate our new normal. We can do it again! We are all having to pivot into this new role as a teacher and it’s so important now more than ever that we lean on each other.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well shit, time to call the crew! Do not think you can do this alone. This shit is hard and we need all the help we can get. Don’t be afraid to speak out when you are struggling. I have no shame and I will share my struggles to my friends or on IG in a heartbeat but not everyone is as open as me. If you are struggling in this new time, message a friend. Ask for help. Reach out to your child's teacher for help! I talked to Bexleys teacher for 45 minutes Tuesday and she fixed my whole mood, ok?! But don’t feel like you can’t reach out and ask for help. You’re not alone in this and it’s ok to cry. Sometimes we all just need a good cry to get it off your chest and get back on our shit.
So In closing just remember, you’re not alone. This shit sucks. And reach out to anyone and everyone if you are struggling.
[Want to add that as I am about to upload this post, my father in law is in my dining room assisting from a distance with Bexley with her iReady diagnostic test cause it was not working for me to help her!]
Oh, and this shit really sucks...thanks Covid!!