Hello again and welcome back,
Here is part two on our conversation about creating better bonds with your child. I tried to establish why it is important to create these bonds with your child at a young age, now I am going to give you ways to do exactly that.
- Physical contact: This is such an important thing to start at a young age. Give your child all the hugs and kisses as much as possible. Family therapist Virginia Satir says, “4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs for growth”. I did not get very many hugs from my family growing up so now if you try to hug me, I may look at you sideways. Physical contact is so important, it is a way to show affection and a sense of security that I want my kids to have.
- Play: As annoying as it is sometimes to play with your kids, they cherish this time with you. I remember a time I played Barbies with Bexley on the floor. She had the BEST time and still talks about it till this day (it was two years ago). Those tiny memories help her to know that mommy took time out of her day to make me feel important and wanted and she loved it!
- Turn off your phone and pay attention: Anyone else addicted to your phone? Real talk, are you reading this from your phone? Its ok, as a business owner I am constantly on my phone. I have to keep reminding myself to put my phone down and be present with my kids. I made the mistake of letting Bexley watch me on the phone all the time, and now I see that she is picking up my bad behavior with her Amazon Fire tablet. I need to change my behavior, so Jamison does not do the same.
- Make special one on one time: Make it a priority to put time aside to spend with your child. Especially if you have multiples. I admit when I had Jamison my focus went off of her and majority on him. I was breastfeeding so I had to make sure he was good and so my hubby and Bexley got super close while Jamison and I got close. Now that he is older, I need to give Bexley some special mommy and me time to let her know I still love her, and I appreciate our time together.
- Welcome emotion listen & empathize: Toddlers are not the best people to explain how they feel. There are a lot of screaming, yelling, tears, throwing of toys, throwing of bodies involved. They do not know how to put into words what they need or how they really feel. We as parents need to understand that this is not their fault. We need to list to what they are saying and empathize. Allowing this open communication at a young age, paves the way for them to want to talk to you as they grow about anything and everything.
You can find more ways to strengthen your relationship with your child HERE.
I challenge you this week to try out doing one or more of these and see how this changes the dynamic with your child. Please share this with a mom that you know that could benefit from these tips and tricks especially with the pandemic happening.