A good friend of mine said it best: Work life balance is a fantasy! I have a work-life flow!!!
And I am here for that!
Women, especially in today's environment, are expected to do it all. Work, raise a family, teach said child, have a successful marriage, work out, stay hydrated, and maintain your mental health. And heaven forbid you miss one thing on that never ending list….you’re the worst mom ever.
I am here to tell you that you are NOT. There is no way to do everything you have on your to do list in the day and not feel like you are about to have a meltdown. Sometimes I order dinner for my kids from take out because today is not working in my favor. And that’s ok!
There is nothing wrong with not getting everything on your list done. It’s pretty much impossible….unless you don’t sleep and drink a shit ton of coffee [which I dont recommend].So why does society feel like it's ok to make us feel like we have to do all the things when they know that it's impossible?
You have mothers who feel like they have to choose between their businesses or homeschooling their child. Mothers who sacrifice sleep to make sure they have completed everything they needed to do to be prepared for the next day. Mothers who suffer in silence with anxiety while working a corporate job that they hate because they feel its “irresponsible” to leave and do what makes me happy. I was that mother, I felt all these feelings and I know other moms are feeling this too. We are felt that we have to do everything right here and now, but we often neglect ourselves.
How is that balanced? We put all our eggs on one side of the scale. That’s not balanced. But then if you try to move some eggs over...you have that guilt feeling in your stomach. Heaven forbid I sit on the couch for an hour and just scroll Instagram. Heaven forbid I do a pop up shop and spend the whole Saturday away from my kids to try and meet new customers. The guilt I get every time is debilitating.
It’s like, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You can’t possibly do it all and maintain your mental health and marriage and keep your kids alive and run a business or work for corporate America and homeschool your children and potty train your 3 year old and walk your dog and make a home cooked meal and keep the house tidy and shower every day and workout. That sentence was long on purpose…..its to show this is what goes through my head EVERY DAY.
I had to learn how to not try to do everything. So ok, clearly Bexley has to be homeschooled...so that is a priority. My husband can worry about dinner. Potty training Jamison?? Not in a rush anymore. Need help on the business front, get an intern to do the things that I don't have time to do [which this is the hardest thing for me to do...give someone else control lol] how do maintain my mental health...Make sure I schedule my mommy moments and read or just lay in bed. It’s all about flow, not balance. Some days I’m “team mom” and I get no business work done. And other days I'm “team entrepreneur” and I give daddy the kids and I hide in my office. And that’s ok! The kids survived a few hours with my husband...he probably could use my help but he’ll be ok.
You need to find a flow that works for you and your mental health. Lean on your friends now more than ever especially if you have to work a corporate job and teach your child. Make sure you ask for help because you can not do it all on your own, and you shouldn’t have to.
So let's take the word “balance” out of the phrase Work-Life balance and plug in “flow”. Find the flow that works for you and go for it!